day 35: is motherhood finally here?

it's now nearly three weeks since ovulation day. and for the 3rd time since we first TTC, i'm finally late; 2 days late to be exact. my 31-33day cycle has never been a day late. no matter how desperately i want to be pregnant, AF will never fail to make her mark by the 34th day. i'm secretly thrilled although i know i shouldn't be overly optimistic about my chances.

feeling the absence of the normal cramping (only mild ones) and sore boobs that usually accompany my dreaded AF, i attempted a hpt on day 33. result: negative. needless to say, i was dismayed, thinking that surely AF will arrive in the next 24 hours. but now that it still hasn't, i'm clinging on to the possibility that perhaps i had tested too early.

strangely, there is none of the dastardly symptoms that i had experienced in the previous months of trying. i remember back in november last year, i had every pregnant symptoms in the book. even the nausea was overwhelming. but it was all a false alarm. but now that i am really late, all i'm feeling are mild cramps and stitches in my lower abdomen, cramps in my thighs (not so mild though) and very, very mild nausea (which i'm willing to dismiss). in addition, i'm also yawning more than usual, napping more frequently, nursing an on-and-off fever, sneezing now and then, and last but not least, developing a healthy appetite!

i'm scared to do a hpt again; scared of that big fat negative sign staring back at me. and so, dh and i have decided to wait a week before we try testing again. i really, really hope that our first-time use of the ovulation kit will bear fruit (literally).

the cramps and stitches in my abdomen and thighs have ceased to a great extent as we speak. instead, soreness is starting to creep in 'em boobs. a sign of aunt flo, or are the pregnancy hormones finally kicking in?

i'm confused as hell. being a woman sure ain't easy.